Weird Philly Area Crimes
I will start...
Who's Dumping Bags of Vomit?
About 35 pounds of human vomit was left in a parking lot on two occasions.
Posted by Sam Strike (Editor) , June 21, 2011 at 06:18 PM
An employee of in St. Davids Square shopping center reported to Radnor Township Police on June 5 a package containing human vomit was left in the parking lot there.
He estimated that about 35 pounds of vomit was in the package discovered June 5 and stated that a similar package was left in the same spot the week before.
According to the employee, the package was concealed in a white kitchen trash bag and placed about 10 parking rows from the store behind a tree.
Radnor Police redacted information that describes what the hidden package was because there is specific information on the package that is being used in the investigation.
Police say that there have not been any other similar incidents since.
Who's Dumping Bags of Vomit? - Police & Fire - Radnor, PA Patch
I remember that they caught the girl. She had an eating disorder and would keep the trash can in her room to throw up in.
So both the murdering classes AND the vomiting classes are moving to the suburbs.
Yeah, the burbs are getting crappy.
OMG they caught her for real?
Originally Posted by loveisnoise
Bread Squeezer Sentenced To Probation Samuel Feldman Must Also Pay $1,000 In Restitution. He Had Been Found Guilty Of Damaging Baked Goods.
By Oshrat Carmiel, INQUIRER SUBURBAN STAFF
Posted: November 21, 2000
Samuel Feldman, convicted in September for a two-year spree of bread and cookie destruction in a Yardley supermarket, was sentenced yesterday to 180 days' probation and ordered to make $1,000 in restitution payment.
He also received a severe scolding from Bucks County Court Judge David Heckler, who demanded that Feldman own up to what Heckler described as vandalism.
Feldman, who was found guilty of two counts of criminal mischief with damages limited to $500 on each count, repeatedly denied throughout his September trial that, from 1997 to 1999, he had knowingly poked and prodded baked goods to the point that the goods became permanently damaged. At trial, his attorney, Ellis Klein, insisted that Feldman was just a picky shopper, intent on finding the freshest loaf.
Heckler, who had delayed the sentencing so that Feldman could undergo a psychiatric evaluation, did not accept that argument and demanded that Feldman admit some intentional wrongdoing or, perhaps, face jail time.
"You need to start with the proposition that, in fact, you engaged in behavior that was not just odd, it was criminal," Heckler told Feldman. "You caused harm to people."
The two charges of criminal mischief could have carried a maximum penalty of six months in prison, Klein said. The sentence - two consecutive 90-day probation periods, payment of $500 each to the bread and cookie distributors he targeted, and ongoing psychiatric counseling - was fitting, Klein said.
"You get wife-beaters getting probation. You get sexual offenders getting probation. Certainly, the guy damaging bread shouldn't get anything worse than that," Klein said.
Feldman, a 38-year-old advertising salesman who remained reticent throughout the trial, took the stand in his defense at the sentencing. He said he had been examined by two psychiatrists in Las Vegas, where he now lives, and that neither had concluded that he had, in Klein's words, "diagnosable mental illnesses."
According to Klein, the second psychiatrist's conclusions were made after talking to Feldman, reading the trial transcripts, and watching the sequence of supermarket surveillance videos. In the videos, Feldman is seen manhandling boxes of cookies and running his hand across dozens of loaves of bread. He was accused, but not convicted, of causing $7,100 in damage to Freihofer's bread and almost $800 in damages to Archway cookies.
"I do touch too much bread, yes, more than the next person," Feldman said in a slight voice, with his head low.
But Heckler said he was troubled by a part of the psychiatric evaluation in which the doctor quoted Feldman as saying that the real bread squeezer was still on the loose.
"The statement that some other person in this area had been doing this damage and that you just happened to wander into the crosshairs at the same time is inconsistent with the jury's findings, and I don't believe it," Heckler said.
Heckler, who took a recess to ponder an appropriate sentence, came back and told Feldman that he must admit some wrongdoing, saying that mangling bread was no different from vandalizing "the neighbors' car or their house."
Klein, sensing that the judge was alluding to a potential jail sentence, argued that such a sentence would be inappropriate. Feldman's wife, Sharon, dabbed her eyes with a tissue. Robert and Betty Krauss, distributors of Archway cookies, whose fruit-filled confections Feldman poked at the Giant Supermarket in Yardley, sat at rapt attention.
"Say you're sorry. Say you're sorry. That's all I was thinking," Betty Krauss said afterward.
Feldman eventually apologized "for causing any inconvenience."
"I do have a problem," he finally said. "Anytime I go shopping, my wife will supervise and will be with me."
Oshrat Carmiel's e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org
Woman Walks To, From Store, Unaware Of Knife In Her Neck
By Deborah Bolling and Robert Sanchez, INQUIRER SUBURBAN STAFF
Posted: March 04, 2000
A 62-year-old Colwyn woman was walking to a Yeadon grocery store early yesterday morning when someone ran up behind her and struck her in the neck.
The woman did her shopping - buying a newspaper and Oreo cookies - and walked the half-mile home, unaware for at least 40 minutes of what no passersby, other shoppers or clerks bothered to mention:
The handle of a kitchen knife was sticking out of her neck.
Police in Delaware County said the woman, whom they would not identify, was taken to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, where she was in serious condition last night.
"It appears that five or six people [in the supermarket] walked right past her without even noticing," Darby Police Chief Robert F. Smythe said.
Police said the woman gave this account:
About 6:50 a.m., after leaving her home in the 300 block of Third Street, she was at Cedar and Coventry Streets in Darby Borough when an unidentified person struck her in the neck.
The assailant did not try to rob her, and did not stop running.
She continued to the Acme Supermarket at 125 Chester Ave. in Yeadon and then walked home. When she began undressing to take a shower, her daughter, with whom she lives, saw the knife.
Smythe said he did not know how large the knife was.
Detectives interviewed the woman at the hospital but have no motive and no suspects. She could not say whether the assailant was a man or a woman.
"It's a random, vicious attack, and I don't know why," Smythe said.
Photographs taken by supermarket surveillance cameras showed her shopping with the knife jutting out of her neck.
Out-of-place Settings Society Hill's Plastic Invasion
By Julie Stoiber, INQUIRER STAFF WRITER
Posted: May 29, 1998
Pat Clement and Grace Boyd were strolling east along Spruce Street yesterday morning in leafy, lovely Society Hill when suddenly, something odd caught their eye.
There was a spoon taped to a tree. And a little farther, a spoon taped to a curvy wrought-iron banister. And more spoons poking out of a window box planted with purple flowers and ivy.
In fact, there were little white plastic spoons everywhere, the kind you would see in a deli. Only they weren't in a deli. They were taped to signs and homes and sidewalks, sticking out of hanging baskets and water spigots, tangled in ivy, affixed to fire hydrants and downspouts, tucked under the wiper blade of a silver Sentra in need of a wash.
Not just spoons, either.
``Here, look, there are knives,'' Boyd said, nudging her friend and pointing to a shutter in the 600 block.
Down the street, she would encounter forks, too.
``It's very unusual,'' said Clement, who lives in Egg Harbor Township.
That's putting it mildly. To the many puzzled, bemused people who live and walk on the stretch of Spruce between Front and Eighth Streets, the sudden proliferation of plasticware was a mystery.
Was it a goofy prank? An avant-garde art project? A way to use leftover utensils from the Memorial Day barbecue?
``I can't believe what I'm looking at,'' said Norma Schub, who was waiting for the No. 12 bus at Third and Spruce a few steps away from a house that had a knife masking-taped to its window. Down the block was a discarded car tire, onto which a spoon had been taped.
Schub wondered if it might be a restaurant promotion.
In fact, a new restaurant did open last week in Society Hill. It's an Italian spot called Sfizzio, where the Copper Penny used to be in the Society Hill Towers complex.
Alas, no connection.
``We don't even have plastic things here,'' said Tiffany Polijczuk, one of the restaurant's managers.
Robert and Stella DiGiacomo, in Center City from the Northeast for a doctor's appointment, thought there might be a connection between the cutlery and the posters they had seen promoting the annual Greek Festival at St. George Greek Orthodox Cathedral, which is just north of Eighth and Spruce.
But the administrator at the church quashed that idea. ``I don't know anything about it,'' said Hippocratis Polemis.
``What's with the spoons?'' asked Marsha Heit, who was out for a walk with daughter Elizabeth, 2.
Asked for her theory, she burst out laughing.
``Definitely communists!'' she said.
Whoever went wild with the plasticware appears to have done it overnight Wednesday. It probably involved more than one person, given the variety of styles and the use of three kinds of tape.
``They weren't here yesterday,'' said Heather Stigall of the 300 block of Spruce Street, who discovered a fork sticking up from her wrought-iron railing.
Some of the groupings were downright whimsical, like the string of forks and spoons cheering up a tired brown porch at Fifth and Spruce.
``Not being from Philadelphia, we thought maybe this is something they do all the time,'' said Clement.
``Maybe on Thursdays,'' added Boyd, chuckling.
``I hope whoever put them out comes back and picks them up,'' Clement said.
That was Mark Taylor's concern.
``Basically, this is a form of littering - with a message,'' said Taylor, who found three spoons standing like soldiers in a little patch of dirt outside his apartment in the 200 block.
Like others, he thought it might be the work of art students.
Regina Barthmaier doesn't think so. She's the administrative coordinator at the University of the Arts' College of Art & Design. Classes are out for the summer, she said. And besides, site-specific art installations have to be approved by the dean.
``I doubt that it's us,'' she said.
The police were baffled, too.
``It's one of the more interesting things I've heard today,'' said Capt. Brian Korn, head of the Sixth District Police. ``It would be tough to figure, if you caught somebody in the act, what you would charge them with.''
Probably criminal mischief, he said. He planned to tell his patrol officers to be on the lookout last night.
That would be welcome news to Susan Behrend. She lives in the 600 block of Spruce and couldn't decide whether to be miffed or amused.
Her first thought was, ``Candid Camera.''
Then she got mad.
``I called the Sixth District [police],'' she said. ``I think it's defacement of property. These are historic homes.''
She had to admit that the little plastic throwaways were having an impact.
Said Behrend, ``They've captivated people.''
It was Donovan McNabb, right?
Originally Posted by loveisnoise
Who Hasnít Drunkenly Fapped In The Middle Of The Street After Crashing Into A Crown Fried Chicken?
Paula Deen, Guy Fieri and Brit Brit will all swear to you that you havenít truly lived life to the fullest of fullest until youíve pulled all your panties down in front of a Crown Fried Chicken and rubbed yourself while inhaling the delicious scent of fried chicken skins and spicy fries. This dude knows what theyíre talking about. On Monday morning in Philadelphia, a bunch of people said to themselves, ďOh, I guess , George Zimmerman is at it again,Ē when a bald crazy drunk bitch crashed his silver Camry into a Crown Fried Chicken, got out of the car, got naked and put jerk chicken on the menu when he started doing himself in the middle of the street.
Philadelphia Magazine says that at 10:30am on Monday, cops were called to a street corner after three-time DUI-er Vincent Wade from New Jersey crashed his car into a Crown Fried Chicken and then gave everyone a fap show when he started choking his own chicken. After the cops finished pinching their nips at the sight of a delicious drop of deep fried sex shaking his underdone biscuits while jacking off next to a puddle of black sludge, they put on a full-body rubber condom and arrested him for DUI. They released this statement after:
On January 27, 2014, at approximately 10:30 am, police responded to 500 West Lehigh Avenue for an auto accident. Upon their arrival officers observed a vehicle on the curbside of the southwest corner of 5th & Lehigh Avenue. The male operator was seated in the driverís seat of a 2007 Silver Camry with no shirt on. The male was asked to step out of the vehicle and when he, did the male was unable to stand on his own. His clothes were torn off and he was unable to respond to police questions. Witnesses to the accident stated that the male was operating his vehicle west on Lehigh Avenue and then veered across the intersection at 5th Street and drove on to the curb hitting a fixed object. After the accident,the male operator exited the vehicle and began removing his clothing and yelling. He then attempted to drive off; however, someone was able to remove the keys and hold them until police arrived. The operator was identified as 34 year old ######### from Pennsauken, New Jersey. He was charged with Driving Under the Influence; no injuries reported.
Vince the Chicken Choker wasnít charged with property damage, because the damage to the Crown Fried Chicken was minimal. He wasnít charged with indecent exposure, because if the smell of fried chicken and spicy fries doesnít make you want to rub your genitals, youíre not human. Itís a natural reaction. Of course, thereís video (Philadelphia Mag has the uncensored video if thatís what you need) of this mess and yes, I watched it while listening to Strokiní. Stroke it to the East, stroke it to the West, stroke it to the chicken that he loves best.
Note to self: The next time Iím at a Crown Fried Chicken, tell them to leave the homemade white gravy off of my mashed potatoes, thankyouverymuch.
Dlisted | Who Hasn’t Drunkenly Fapped In The Middle Of The Street After Crashing Into A Crown Fried Chicken?
Eddie Savitz. AKA Uncle Eddie.
Court Asked To Make Homeowner Clean Up Act West Norriton's Suit Calls David Musko's Home An "Immediate Danger" Because Of Debris And His Habits.
By Jeff Eckhoff, INQUIRER CORRESPONDENT
Posted: September 24, 1994
In the latest shot fired in a four-year legal war, West Norriton Township officials have asked a Montgomery County court to force David Musko to clean up his home and to stop urinating and exposing himself on the patio outside.
Filed Thursday, the township's lawsuit charges that Musko's home on South Trooper Road constitutes "a present and immediate danger" to both Musko and his neighbors because of large piles of debris and the owner's bathroom habits.
In the lawsuit, township officials ask for a court order allowing them to inspect Musko's home and, if necessary, declare the property uninhabitable until repairs are made to bring it into compliance with local codes.
Musko is already under a federal court order to close holes in the exterior walls of his home before Oct. 13 or face contempt-of-court charges.
Along with the building inspection, West Norriton's new lawsuit seeks a court order prohibiting Musko, 37, "from urinating on his property in public or exposing his genitals outside of the structure on the premises in question."
Musko, a self-employed certified public accountant, had a preliminary hearing in District Court this week on charges of indecent exposure, public lewdness and disorderly conduct. The complaints were brought by neighbors who said they often witness Musko urinating off the patio behind his home.
"What we're trying to do is get Mr. Musko to go to the bathroom inside of his house, " said West Norriton Solicitor Robert J. Kerns. "We firmly believe that he doesn't have proper lavatories inside."
"We're basically just trying to enforce our code here," said Manrico A. Troncelliti Jr., president of the township's Board of Commissioners.
But Arthur Gutkin, Musko's attorney, said the township's latest court action was nothing but "a back-door approach to have him evicted."
In bringing the suit, Gutkin said, township officials denied Musko the opportunity to defend himself in front of the township commissioners directly. And in so doing, he said, they violated his client's right to due process.
Gutkin said he planned to make the issue part of another lawsuit - this one filed by Musko - scheduled to go before a federal court judge at the end of the year. In that suit, Musko charges that, after four years of squabbles about the condition of his home, township officials conspired with his neighbors to have him committed for a mental-health evaluation earlier this year.
"It's just pooh-poohed by everybody," Gutkin said of the way Musko's rights have allegedly been violated. " 'This guy is nuts. 'This guy is different from everybody else.'. . ."