What happens when you can't change someone for a crime because they are too young?

[OldMama]

I don't think every single parent is incompetent. I'm a single parent since my husband died when my kids were 20 and 10. I can tell you it's really HARD to be a single parent. You have to be on duty all the time. My daughter is 15 now and I watch her like a hawk. I'm sure she hates me sometimes. That's a price I'm willing to pay for a well-raised child.

I recommended that this child be removed since his mother, who appears to be his only custodial parent, has stated that she can't manage him. I don't believe he is irredeemable. I just don't think he's redeemable in that home. Maybe he's a really hard kid to raise. Maybe the mother has no family supports. At this point, I don't care. Get him out before he's beyond fixing.

[mikkifinn]

Old Mama, I don't for a minute think that every single parent is incompetent, and I hope you don't think that is what I said. One of my closest friends is a single mom & it is really, really hard for her. She does a fantastic job, but I see how it drains her & requires almost all her energies. I don't know how she functions sometimes. I just think it is a lot harder for single parents, b/c of the reasons you stated, and there are way more single parents out there than there used to be. On the other hand, you can also have someone like you who is really aware of everything & does a great job, and then have 2 parents who are checked out & are doing a really poor job.
However, if a parent is overwhelmed, has no partner or back-up/support system, and isn't able to watch their kid "like a hawk" or risk having their kid "hate" them at times, then that could absolutely be a contributing factor in the child's behavioral issues. Plus, single parents usually are under added economic pressure that comes with that territory, which adds a whole other set of issues they have to deal with. That's all I meant by the "single parent" part of my comment.

[OldMama]

No offense taken, Mikki, and I agree with everything you just wrote. I'd feel the same about this child if he had both parents, four grandparents, and two uncles in the home: Something is not working with him, try something else ASAP.